Promise, this year will
be different: The Top 5 Most “Gasgas” New Year’s Resolutions
Whenever we welcome a new year, it is
traditional for us to think up of a change that we want to happen when the
incoming year presents itself. It is a form of self- change, a goal that we
want to achieve for self- satisfaction. It varies, but there are commonalities
between all New Year’s resolutions; it is possible for an average Juan to do,
cheap and will always start on a small scale. And most of the time, these New
Year’s resolutions only take effect for a few weeks at least and months at
most, and it is common for people to abandon these goals.
1. Becoming
fit and losing weight
A common goal
amongst our fellow Pinoy youth, it is usually the goal of single women from the
ages of fifteen to thirty. The goal is simple, lose weight and become fit. This
resolution comes mostly from the common perspective that being thin and fit
attracts physical and sexual attention, which is one of the most sought after
things by single women. Execution differs per person, but one thing is usually
seen; they always give up midway and forget about the resolution and eat.
2. Saving up money
This resolution
is by far one of the easiest goals; get a bottle or a container, seal it in a
way you know that you yourself won’t be able to get pass through, and start
dropping coins in the container daily and open it within a pre- determined
time. This resolution also has a higher rate of success than most resolutions
since it is money related.
3. I
won’t curse this year
Another common
favorite amongst the Filipino youth, it is a goal to avoid or reduce the use of
curse words for self- gratification. It is common for a Filipino to curse in
their everyday lives, be it while having difficulties pumping out fecal waste
in the bathroom, after stubbing one’s toe in the corner of furniture, while
laughing at a person’s joke or dumbness or even during the height of sexual
pleasure. But cursing is highly frowned upon by Filipino elders, since their
time practiced strict decency and modicum, and as such, the goal of this
resolution is to appease the morals of a person and to look decent in society’s
eyes.
4. This
year, I will make a move on my crush
Common amongst
Filipino singles, it is a goal that has three endings; it works and they get
together, it fails and the person who did it will become miserable, or it will
become an everlasting goal waiting to be done. Usually the goal of men, it’s
simply a goal relatable to “be a man and DO IT!” and has a fifty percent chance
of working, since boldness and bravery also can be seen as offensive to some
women. Though, it is also common amongst women, but their moves are more subtle
and is more aimed in making men know that they are interested in them and wants
them to ignite the fire.
5. I
will be good this year
Common, vague
and easy, the staple resolution amongst lazy Filipinos who don’t want to aim
for anything productive in their bodies or minds, and simply want a resolution
that can gratify them in any time of the day. Really? If this is your
resolution, come on. You can do better than that.
By: Dennis Mongoc
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